Girls swooning over the Taiwanese Mandopop king irritate guys who see him as competition
By Teo Cheng Wee, straighttalk
I HATE Jay Chou.
There, I said it. And I'll say it again: I. Hate. Jay. Chou. How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways.
I hate how every girl gushes about how great his songs are when he simply mumbles through them.
I hate how they say he is the cutest thing on two feet when he is plainly an average looker.
And I hate how they swoon about how talented he is, which invariably revolves around how he can play a couple of musical instruments and also twirl the nunchakus.
I must profess though, my dislike for him wasn't always this strong. The seeds were sown only about four months ago when tickets for his concert here were up for sale.
I remember a group of my female colleagues hyperventilating when news broke that he was coming to perform for two nights.
'And one of the nights is his birthday. We can sing him his birthday song,' they squealed.
They were breathless for so long, I was surprised that they were still alive when he swept into town last month.
Then, two of them went shopping for cowboy hats because that is supposedly the get-up that Chou sports in his latest album.
I had to hide the pumping of my fists when they told me that they couldn't find any.
Undeterred, one of them went ahead and made a giant placard to greet him at the airport.
When the two sold-out nights at the Singapore Indoor Stadium passed, I thought the worst was over. But the nightmare was just beginning.
First, there was the endless gushing about how good the show was. Then, incredibly, one of them set up a Facebook group called the 'Support group for Post Jay Concert Disorder sufferers'.
On its homepage, it says:
Are you unable to eat and sleep?
Are you no longer functioning as a responsible part of the workforce and instead just look at concert photos and make squealing sounds at your desk?
Are you thrilled to find out that he ate steamed fish and veggie for his birthday supper at 3am?
Are you frantically trawling YouTube for snippets of interviews with him?
Are you kidding me?
But it goes on: 'If you have answered 'yes' to all of the above, you have a bad case of Post Jay Concert Disorder. It is not unlike Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, except much more pleasurable.
'Fortunately, there is no cure. I speak from personal experience of attending three such concerts. You can only alleviate the symptoms by indulging in more music, more photos, more videos, more movies. And this is the place to share them.'
A woman who posted in the group said: 'I watched Initial D last night and it felt strangely comforting, like re-reading a lover's letters after a break-up.'
Initial D is a film about racing cars, where Chou made his movie debut.
I tried telling the women that if they really valued talent, they should idolise Stevie Wonder. 'He plays the piano, synthesizer, harmonica, drums, bass guitar, organ and clarinet. Why don't you fawn over him instead?'
Their angry comeback: 'You are just jealous.'
But I'm not. Personally, I doubt I would be able to handle all that female adulation if it ever happened to me in a parallel universe.
The truth is, after thinking it through, I realised that my dislike for Chou isn't caused by the man himself. It's not like he tortures kittens, is unfilial or beats up his girlfriend.
Sure, I may not be a fan but if we were just two normal guys who met each other through friends, I think we could have hit it off (since everyone says he's so nice).
I've realised that it's all the women swooning over him that I cannot stomach. And I'm not alone – there are many other men I know who were tearing their hair out over Chou-mania.
You see, men just hate women gushing about other men. It's a sure way to make one guy dislike another. If you want us to agree with you, you'll need an appropriate approach.
This could work:
Girl: Wow, that Jay Chou is quite good- looking and talented, hor?
Guy: Yah, he's not bad, lah, I guess.
This definitely won't:
Girl: Oh, that Jay Chou is soooo cute. He's so talented, unassuming and boy-next-door – and he's so humble. *blink eyes*
Guy: Yeah right. Puh-leese. *roll eyes*
Why are men like this? I suppose we just tend to be more critical towards other guys. After all, when it comes to getting women's attention, they are our competitors.
What's more, it's harder for us to see their exact point of view, since we obviously don't share their gender preference. No matter how objective we try to be, straight men will never think that another guy is 'oh so cute'.
I remember a male colleague whom a few women in the office used to adore. The women described him as tall, handsome and awfully sweet. Strangely, the words used by the men were 'arrogant', 'showy' and 'not even that handsome'.
I bet if they were heaping praise on some guy who just invented a cure for cancer, we will still go: 'Oh, yah sure, but don't you think he looks kind of nerdy?'
There are tonnes more men out there who are less talented than Chou – step forward, all you boybands – but I don't find myself despising them too much these days because, well, my female friends don't worship them as much. Or at least they don't dare show it.
So I suppose I have been rather harsh on Chou. Allow me to rephrase my first statement.
Chou, I don't really hate you. Let's be friends. Next time you're in town, call me and we can go to Zouk together. I'll buy you supper.
Then maybe you can teach me how to use the nunchakus to make irritating, squealing women shut up.
chengwee@sph.com.sg
Fans of Jay Chou. Any comments? When I first read this article on Straits Time on Monday, I was like "KNN… $*&$^&*(" Cos to me, if he HATES Jay Chou then don't even bother to look at him, listen to his songs and write about him.
Oh well, anyone wanna rebuke him?
Not me. Cos I don't talk to people whose brain are "tart-sai".
It's the March Teenage, which made me walk from 2 newspaper shops to 2 7-11 stores & finally, I got it. 
It will be my wall paper in a few minutes time. 
So laugahble right? LOLx… I simply just can't help it but laugh when I saw this picture.
S$8.50 for a popcorn, a drink and a "silly looking" basketball water bottle. 
Not only that, Starhub has lots of Kungfu Dunk promotions too. 
Say the $18 Pre-paid card, it comes with a limited edition of Jay's Prepaid Top-up card. 3 designs. While stocks last, of course! (I am not doing any advertisements for Starhub)
